How to Save Thousands When You Buy and Finance your home

How to Check Your Credit Report

Six Ways to Beat the Stress of Buying a Home

Things You Should Know About Moving Moving

Making the Move Easy on the Kids




How to Save Thousands When You Buy and Finance Your Home

When buying a home, accurately knowing how much to pay and how to structure your financing terms can literally mean thousands of dollars saved. How do you make the choices and calculations involved with buying and financing? Whether you're a financial wizard or you still haven't figured out how to balance a checkbook you will need an experienced guide to lead you through the real estate maze because the wrong choices and calculations can cost you a small fortune.

Think about it! If you make a teeny mistake with your interest rate you might spend an unnecessary $100,000 (or more) in interest payments over the life of your loan! Imagine what you might pay if you make more than one mistake. Small errors when combined and spread out over a number of years can be costly.

Let me give you an example of what I mean: When pilots fly an airplane, they use a radar signal to point them in the right direction so they can get where they're going. Let's say you're a pilot and you set the radar signal off by one degree. If you're flying only a few miles, being off a little bit doesn't make much difference; you'll end up at your destination. But on a long cross-country trip, flying from New York to Oakland, being off course just one degree could cause the plane to land in San Jose. The bigger and longer the trip you take the greater the effect of the mistake. The same applies to buying and financing your home. It's a long trip. Being off course just a little bit when buying and financing your home can make a big difference in your wallet!

I hope this convinces you that you need an experienced and knowledgeable realtor to represent your interests. If you ask a real estate agent to find you a house it would be reasonable to assume that the agent represents you. That is not necessarily true. Most of the time the agent represents the seller even if he/she helped you find the house. You need someone on your side; someone who will have fiduciary duty to you, the buyer, and whose job it is to protect your interests. I will represent your interests and I will take care of all the details that are involved in a real estate transaction:

  1. Screen and find the best available properties for you
  2. E-mail you profiles of suitable properties as they come to the MLS
  3. Provide you with a sample Deposit Receipt so you get familiar with the purchase agreement
  4. Negotiate a favorable price once we find the home you want
  5. Open an escrow account
  6. Provide you with an estimate of closing costs
  7. Get you pre-approved for a loan with the best possible rates and terms
  8. Get inspections, reports and appraisals on the property
  9. Keep you informed of all the inspections, appraisals, and various negotiations during the escrow period
  10. Go with you to the escrow company to sign the closing papers
  11. Do all the hand holding that you deem necessary

Buying a home is more than just an investment; it alters your life. So besides picking an experienced and knowledgeable realtor, you also need to feel comfortable with him/her. That's why I recommend a FREE no-obligation conference: either face to face or by phone. During our first meeting you can ask all kinds of real estate questions:

  • How much home can I buy
  • Where will I find the best home for my money
  • . How much should I offer for the home I'm buying
  • What do I do if I want to buy a home and there are multiple offers
  • Is it a good time to buy
  • What is the market like
  • What will be the best financing for my situation
  • Should I pay points and go for a lower interest or avoid the points and pay a higher rate
  • Should I get a fixed or variable rate
  • How much should I put down
  • Is it worth paying Mortgage Insurance
  • How can I buy a home without a down payment
  • How much will I get for my present home
  • Do I sell my present home first and then buy, buy first and then sell or have a simultaneous closing
  • My credit is not the greatest. What can I do
  • How often will I be hearing form you and how long will you take to return my calls
  • Do you have information on all the properties that are on the market and how will you inform me about them
  • Why should I buy from you and not the agent I met at the open house
  • There is a home I love but it is not for sale. What can I do about buying it

The information I'll provide will be worthwhile to you. As I said, it comes with no obligation on your part to use my services. You get the information you need, you get to see whether you feel comfortable with me, and you get to decide if you want to use me as your realtor.

Call me for a free conference. 510-527-1770 P.S. Should you decide to use my services you will get a $750 rebate at the closing of escrow.

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How to Check Your Credit Report


With home buying and refinancing at high levels, checking credit reports should be on everyone's list of financial obligations. Good credit can lead to a magical world of cheap rates and good terms, while erroneous credit reports can unfairly raise the cost of borrowing.What does your credit report say?

Lenders typically look at three credit reports when reviewing mortgage applications, the argument being that three reports may identify credit issues that a single report would miss. So what steps can you take to make your credit report stronger? ·

Are there entries which are factually incorrect? If yes, contact the credit reporting agency by certified mail, with a return receipt requested. Lenders have 30 days from receipt to correct or confirm a challenged entry. ·

Does the report include information regarding someone else? If you are "Fred Smith" and not "Fred Smith, Jr." or some other individual, then the report needs to be corrected. ·

Late payments are a huge no-no with lenders and can quickly knock down credit scores. Payments are "late" for credit reporting purposes when they are 30 days overdue. Caution: It's possible to have an item which does not show up on a credit report (because it's not 30 days overdue) and yet is late under your agreement with a lender or credit provider. If a payment is overdue you could face penalties, fees, and other problems. The bottom line: Always pay bills in full, pay on time, and mail early enough to easily make payment deadlines.

· What are your debts? Lenders look at real estate, installment debt such as a car payment, revolving accounts such as credit cards, collection claims, and other obligations. Check the numbers to assure they are right. · Is address information accurate? The wrong address may also mean incorrect credit references. · Is your Social Security number correct? A single wrong digit and the whole credit report is likely to be rife with errors. ·

How many credit inquires have you made in the past 90 days? In this case, lenders want to know if you have recently extended your credit obligations or opened new accounts. The concern is that maybe the high cash balances that appear on the credit report are really just evidence of increased debts rather than savings and good cash management.

· Do you have any delinquent credit accounts? Each credit report will also provide credit scores, a short-hand way to evaluate your overall financial performance. Higher is better, and on most scales anything over 720 should elate lenders.

What to do if you have bad credit? Pay bills on time, reduce debts, and build savings. None of this will happen quickly or automatically, but over time your credit report will shape up. Want more information? One good option works like this: Your real estate broker can arrange for you to have your credit report reviewed by an experienced lender.


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Six Ways to Beat the Stress of Buying a Home

DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in life. There are two very different kinds of needs that people have while moving. First there are the transactional needs, like finding the home that is just right for them, finding a seller who is realistic, negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork, handling the escrow, and arranging for the move. But there are also emotional needs that are involved when moving, and this is where the biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent will handle the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs are unfulfilled, you'll be frustrated and may not act in your own best interests. The ideal real estate agent is one, who is competent with paperwork and numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional ups and downs Here are the six best ways we've found to beat the stress.


1. Begin with The End in Mind


Have an ultimate scenario of where you're trying to be. What will life be like when you get there? How will it be better than where you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a page about how it feels in the new place. This is imperative. Having the goal in front of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and frustrations. Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze method teaches you to focus on one spot when enduring labor pains. In the same way, you too must focus on that future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.


2. Be Flexible

In your monetary calculations, overestimate by a thousand dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract acceptance and closing. It could be the inspections reveal areas of concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or the repair costs are higher than the amount limited in the contract. Or the interest rate changes which affects the necessary down payment and closing costs you will need to come up with. As your real estate team, we will strive to tie up loose ends as quickly as possible, but remember there is no perfect world.


3. Trust in The Process

There's just so much to do, it's easy to panic. You wonder if it will ever work out. In fact, when we bought our house, we couldn't eat for a day, we felt sick to our stomachs! You think you're taking a big chance, but the truth is you're giving yourself a big chance. Even though you can't see every step of the way, as you move towards your goals, the way opens up. We know that you haven't moved in a long time and it's a major upheaval in your life. But we've been there many times before, and we'll be looking out for you. Trust that we know the way to get you there.


4. Get Knowledge

One thing you'll probably feel during this transition time is being out of control. It feels like everyone else has taken over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the inspectors, they all have the power to say yes or no to your moving plans. We'll try our best to let you know ahead of time what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are. We'll tie down the loose ends as soon as possible. We'll try to get your loan approved within a reasonable time frame. We'll educate you as best we can and let you in "behind the scenes" so you won't ever feel left out.


5. What is Your Option?

When things don't go as smoothly as you had hoped, don't let emotions take over. Always ask yourself , "What is my option?" because there are always options. Let's pretend the lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and more documentation until if feels like he also needs to know how many gold fillings you have in your mouth! You want to say "Forget it, I'm fed up with this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and start the process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have to provide all the paperwork over again. If the lender is trying his best, it may be better to give him a few more days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur we've found that asking yourself this question helps to defuse the situation and restore clear headed thinking.


6. Seek Entertainment.

When there's nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but now it won't come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something where you aren't powerless. Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town for the day, watch a movie or pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you. Refuse to listen to those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something else instead and just take it one day at a time.

To keep stress to a minimum, here's how We'll serve you when you work with us in buying your new home: Give our best-reasoned expert counsel and advice with your best interests in mind. Clarify your goals and motivation, and decide if moving is the wisest choice at this time. Provide recommendations and information to help your kids through all the changes. Negotiate effectively for you to get the lowest possible price for your new home. Treat your money like it was our own, shaving every expense possible. Protect your interests during escrow, keeping a detailed record of the transaction. Be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve when the stress is overwhelming. Counsel you through the feelings of "buyer's remorse". Alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel more in control. Contact you daily during the last 10 days of the transaction to serve your needs. Provide guidance and help with movers, change of address, utilities shut off, cleaning, etc. Deliver your closing paperwork. Continue to give you information of value after the transaction... for life
.

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Things You Should Know About Moving

In Search of a New Residence

Subscribe to the area's local newspaper in advance of your move. It usually contains a large real estate section, which can be very helpful in giving you some idea of the type of housing available in the new city, as well as other useful information. A rrange for a house-hunting trip to your new city. When looking for a new home, take along a tape measure and a list of the exact dimensions of each of your major appliances and other large pieces of furniture. Measure the areas provided for them to be sure your appliances and furniture will fit. Establish credit in the new city. Ask your banker for a referral to a correspondent bank and to act as a credit reference. Preplanning Your Move Plan the move as early as possible. If you are able to move at any time of the year, don't wait until summer, the peak-moving season. Consider also that the first and last few days of the month are extra busy. If you plan to sell your house, get it on the market as soon as possible. If renting, give your landlord timely notice of your moving date. Keep a record of all expenses related to the move, some of which may be tax deductible. Fill out the Personal Household Inventory for each room. This is important for establishing the amount of declared valuation for the shipment and as a permanent inventory for insurance purposes. List, as nearly as possible, the year of purchase and original cost of each item. Attach any
invoices or records of purchase to the completed inventory. Prepare a separate high-value inventory if the shipment will contain articles of "extraordinary" value.

The following list includes items that might fall into this category:

• Antiques
• Art Collections
• Cameras
• China Collections
• Computer Equipment
• Crystal
• Figurines
• Firearms
• Jewelry
• Manuscripts
• Oriental Rugs
• Silver
• Stones Or Gems
• Tapestries
• TVs Or Stereos


Estimate of Moving Costs

Unless you have been given a binding estimate where a firm cost is established in advance, the exact cost of a move cannot be determined until after the shipment has been loaded on the van and weighed. The weight on which charges are based is calculated by weighing the van before and after loading. The total cost of the move will include transportation charges, any charges for declared valuation, plus charges for any extra services performed at your request. All of these charges are based on tariff rate schedules. Owner's Responsibility It is the owner's responsibility to see that your mechanical, electrical equipment and appliances are properly serviced for shipping prior to the arrival of the moving van. For safe moving, have these items prepared by a licensed or properly trained technician. This service may be performed by a technician of your choice or by qualified personnel of the moving company. If the owner has failed to have an item serviced, the van operator may load and haul it, but will mark the inventory sheet, "Not Serviced-Loaded at Owner's Risk."


Six to Eight Weeks before Moving Day Working with the Mover

• Have the moving company conduct a household goods survey in order to furnish you with a written estimate, although the final cost will depend on the actual weight of your household goods after they are loaded on the van.

• Before the removal list arrives, inspect the property. Include the garage, patio and any storage shed. Decide what to move and what to discard. Remember the cost of moving an item may be greater than the cost of replacing it.

• Decide whether you want to do any of the packing or have it done by the moving company's experienced personnel. Show the removal list everything that is to be moved. Specify articles that are to be packed so the estimate will include these charges. Any items that are later added to the shipment will add to the cost estimate.


Transfer of Personal Records

• Arrange for closing or transfer of charge accounts.

• Check personal insurance policies to see whether moving is covered. Transfer fire, theft and other personal property insurance to ensure coverage at the new home.

• Obtain transcripts of the children's school records and credentials from school authorities or secure transcripts of school records, if you prefer to take them along.

• Gather medical and dental records including vaccination data, medical prescriptions, dates of last examinations, history of past illnesses and so on.

• Ask your doctor and dentist to recommend colleagues in the new city. Be sure to check current telephone numbers and addresses of physicians, dentist and hospital, which will help when transferring your records.

• Obtain letters of introduction from your church, organization, club, and business Associates.

• Transfer, sell or resign memberships in clubs or associations. Report your move to any lending agency with which you do business. A lender's permission may be required to move personal property in which the lender has an interest.


Four to Six Weeks before Moving Day

Planning Your Packing if you plan to do the packing yourself, start collecting suitable containers. You can purchase specialized containers from most moving companies, such as:

• Small cartons for heavy items (books, record albums, and tools)

• Wardrobe containers

• Large cartons for bulky items (pillows, blankets, and stuffed toys)

• Medium-sized cartons for bulkier but not so heavy items (towels, linens,
and small appliances)


Collect other packing materials

• White paper
• Tissue paper
• Paper towels
• Non printed paper
• Newspapers
• Tape or Strong twine for sealing containers
• Scissors or Sharp knife (keep out of children's reach)
• Felt marker to mark containers
• Notebook & Pencil for listing contents
• Labels or Stickers (Available from moving company)

Set goals and deadlines to ensure that all packing is completed by moving day. You may want to pack one room per week. Attach a list of contents to each carton. Separate and mark goods that will go into storage. Consider having a garage sale to dispose of unwanted items. If you donate clothing or household goods to charitable organizations, get receipts showing their approximate value for tax deductions? Remember that the cost of moving an item may be greater than replacing it. Begin to use up large supplies of canned goods and frozen foods. Buy only what will be used before moving.


Places To Notify of Impending Address Change Utilities:

• Electric
• Gas
• Water
• Telephone
• Fuel
• Trash removal
• Professional Services
• Doctor
• Dentist
• Accountant
• Lawyer
• Real estate Agent
• Stock broker
• Insurance Agents
• Life
• Health
• Fire
• Auto
• Boat
• Established Business Accounts
• Credit cards
• Motor Vehicle Department
• Finance companies
• Banks
• Department stores
• Government and Public Offices
• Social Security Administration
• Federal and state income tax offices
• Publications
• Newspapers
• Magazines
• Professional and trade
• Credit Card Companies
• Bank cards
• Oil companies
• Store cards
• Other cards
• Miscellaneous
• Relatives and friends
• Business associates
• Book and record clubs
• Schools and colleges
• Church

Landlord, if you are a tenant Tenants, if you are a landlord.

Two to Three Weeks before Moving Day

Let the post office know your moving date and new address. If you do not have a permanent address by the time you move, the post office will hold your mail and forward it upon written instructions from you. Phone the local business office of the Telephone Company. They can make arrangements for service in your new home and, on request, give out your new number when your present number is called.


Contact all service companies as listed:

• Electric
• Gas
• Water
• Fuel
• Cable TV

If possible, arrange to have utilities connected before your arrival. Make family travel plans. Reserve air or rail transportation and hotel accommodations as needed. Have your car prepared for the trip-tires, brakes, lubrication, oil change, and tune-up-as needed. Dispose of flammables such as fireworks, cleaning fluids, matches, acids, pressure cans or paint thinner. Drain oil and fuel from your power mower and other machinery. Discard partly used cans of oil, paint, syrup or any other substance that may leak. Carefully tape-seal and place in individual waterproof bags any jars of liquids or semi-liquids you do not wish to discard. Have rugs cleaned that are to be moved. Leave them rolled and wrapped when they are returned from the cleaners. If draperies are to be moved, have them cleaned and ready for alterations that might be needed in your new home. Collect items that are being cleaned stored or repaired (clothing, shoes, watches). Empty your locker at any club you are a member of. Return library books and anything borrowed from friends or neighbors. Also collect things you may have loaned. Decide what to do with your houseplants.

Set a date with a reliable service person to prepare your appliances for shipment, preferably the day before the move. Depending on the appliance, post service may be needed for refrigerator, freezer, range, washer, dryer and others. For more information, request a free booklet, generally provided by most Home Removal companies. Pianos and organs need to be prepared for moving by a specialized technician. Make arrangements to have utilities disconnected on moving day:

• Electric
• Gas
• Water
• Fuel
• Cable TV

Plan to keep your telephone in service through moving day in case last minute calls are necessary. Take pets to the veterinarian. Make sure identification tags are securely attached to the pet's collar.


Three Days before Moving Day

Instant Aid Box

Pack a box for instant needs on arrival. Mark the box "To be loaded last and Unloaded first." Package each group of items separately in labeled paper bags. Here are some suggestions.

• Cleaning
• Powdered detergent
• Sponge
• Paper towels
• Dish towels
• Dish cloth
• Kitchen cleanser
• Window cleaner
• Scouring pads
• Kitchen
• Paper plates, cups, napkins
• Plastic knives, forks, spoons
• Small saucepan
• Serving spoons
• Aluminum foil
• Snacks
• Easy-to-open cans of pudding
• Dry soup mix
• Sandwich spreads
• Jars of cheese
• Package of crackers
• Boxes of dry cereals
• Instant coffee, tea, chocolate
• Instant creamer, sugar, salt
• Bathroom
• Towels and face cloths
• Toilet tissue
• Facial tissue
• Soap, hand lotion, deodorant
• Toothbrushes and toothpaste
• Miscellaneous
• Reading materials
• Puzzles
• Last-Minute Packing
• Cellular telephone
• Light bulbs
• Flashlight
• Hammer, screwdriver, pliers, assorted nails and screws
• Shelf paper
• Trash bags and ties
• Children
• Coloring books and crayons
• A favorite toy or two

Complete the "Take-with-Me Inventory" checklist in Appendix D. Check contents of drawers. Remove all things that can spill or break. Soft goods such as blankets, pillows, blouses, shirts and lingerie may be left in drawers. Pin clothing to hangers if it is to be moved in wardrobe cartons to keep it from slipping off. Remove items left in the attic or other storage areas. Empty the refrigerator and freezer so they can dry at least 24 hours before moving. Be careful not to overlook the defrost water pan. Failure to have the appliances completely dry can lead to mildew and unpleasant odor. For more information, request a free booklet, Moving Appliances and Other Home Furnishings, from United Van Lines. Be sure the water is emptied from your steam iron. Launder all soiled clothing prior to the day the appliance service technician is expected. Take the telephone directory with you for contacting former doctors, dentists, suppliers, etc., and for preparing holiday card lists. Pack suitcases for the trip to the new home. Put in extra clothing for emergencies. Consider packing a picnic lunch to eat while traveling. Take along snacks such as fruit and cookies for the children. Include towels for a quick cleanup. Arrange for a baby-sitter for moving day, or have older children look after the younger ones.


Moving Day

Loading Your Belongings

Be on hand when the movers arrive. Otherwise, it is important to let the movers know to whom you have given authority to take your place. Be sure this person knows exactly what to do. Remember the person may be asked to sign documents obligating you to charges.

• Accompany the van operator through the house inspecting and tagging each piece of furniture with an identifying number. These numbers, along with a description of your goods and their condition at the time of loading, will appear on the inventory.

• Be sure the condition of each item is recorded and the van operator has a clear understanding about what is to be loaded last. It is your responsibility to see that all of your goods are loaded, so remain on the premises until loading is completed. After making a final tour of the house to be sure no items have been overlooked, check and sign the inventory. Get your copy and keep it in a safe place.

• Check to see the van operator has the exact destination address. Be specific as to where and how you can be reached pending the arrival of your household goods.

• Leave the phone connected throughout the moving day. Leave a note listing your new address in a conspicuous place in the house so the new occupants will be able to forward any of your mail inadvertently delivered to them.


Take a last look around:

• Water shut off?
• Gas shut off?
• Air-conditioning shut off?
• Light switches turned off?
• All utilities arranged for disconnection?
• Windows shut and locked?
• Have you left anything?
• Lock the house and leave the keys with a responsible person or in a prearranged location.


At Your Destination

• Contact the destination Removalist whose name appears on the forms signed as soon as possible and indicate where and how you can be reached.

• Make sure the house is ready for occupancy before the van arrives. If you have not already done so, contact the utility companies and make necessary arrangements for service. Ask if any of them provides free appliance connection service.

• Be on hand to accept delivery of your household goods. Otherwise authorize an adult as your representative to accept delivery and pay the charges for you. Inform the Removalist of the person so authorized. On the day of delivery, the van operator will attempt to contact you by phone and make an appearance at the residence if unable to reach you. If no one appears to accept the shipment within the free waiting time, the goods will be placed in storage at the owner's expense.

• Check your household goods, as they are unloaded. If there is a change in the condition of the property from that noted on the inventory at the time of loading or if any items are missing, note any damage and/or missing items on the van operator's copy of the inventory sheet. By signing the inventory sheet, you are acknowledging receipt of all items listed. Personally report any loss or damage to the moving company agent at destination immediately. (You must file the claim yourself; the van operator can not do it for you.)

• To save time and confusion, place a floor plan of your new home at the entrance the movers will use, indicating where each piece of furniture should go.

• Then unloading, each piece of furniture will be placed as you direct, including the lying of rugs and setting up of bed frames, box springs and mattresses. However, appliances and fixtures may not be installed. At your request and additional cost, the agent may arrange for this service and for refilling of waterbed mattresses.

• To prevent possible damage, television sets, other electronic equipment and certain major appliances should not be used for 24 hours after delivery, allowing them time to adjust to room temperature. If you have paid for unpacking, you are entitled to unpacking service and removal of the cartons.


Getting Settled

* If you have not already done so, contact the utility companies and make necessary arrangements for service. Ask if any of them provides free appliance connection service.

• Make arrangements for reinstallation of appliances.

• Keep all documents pertaining to your move in a safe place. You will need them for verification of moving expenses and for filing your income tax returns. For more information on tax-deductible moving expenses, consult an Accountant or Tax specialist.

• Check with the post office for any mail being held and ask for delivery to start.

• Have your medical and dental records transferred after selecting a family
physician and dentist.

• You may want to select a Lawyer discuss laws pertaining to your destination state, county and/or city. Be sure to cover such matters as wills, transfers of property and investments, insurance regulations, inheritance laws, taxes and the like. Most laws affect a family as soon as residence in the new state and city is established. Register to vote.

• Locate the selected schools. Take the children, introduce yourself and register them.

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Making the Move Easy on the Kids

Moving from one house to another is seldom easy and fun for adults and it can be especially troubling for the children. But if parents deal with their children's concerns and needs thoughtfully, much of that distress and discomfort can be avoided.

Children see moves differently than their parent's do, and they benefit much less from the change in their comfortable routines, or so it seems at the time. Most often, a change in houses or communities heralds an important step forward for the adult members of the family. The family moves because Daddy or Mommy has a great new job or a promotion in reward for years of hard work. They move because financial success has allowed the purchase of a bigger and nicer house in a more costly neighborhood. They move because they can finally afford private bedrooms for each child and perhaps a pool in the back yard.

Mobile and hard striving people typically live in a house for about four years and then move on as their careers or fortunes allow. That short time span is only a small percentage of the life-to-date for a 30 or 40 year old, but the same four years is half the life-time of an 8 year old, and it includes almost all the years he or she can remember. To a parent, this house may be only the place they have lived recently. They think of it as a way station on the road of life. To kids, however, it may be the only home they have ever really known. This is their house, the place they feel safe and comfortable and thoroughly at home. A house is much more than a roof and walls to a child. It is the center of his or her world. A move threatens to take that sphere away and leave something totally strange in its place. The familiar friends, schools, shops and theaters, the streets, trees and parks - all will no longer exist for them. Everything soon will be strange, and they will live in someone else's world.

The impact of a move on a typical child starts about the time he or she first hears that Daddy has accepted a promotion, and often continues for about a year, until the new house becomes home, and memories of the previous place fade. It's not usually necessary to announce this big change to children immediately, although they must hear about it from you before someone else breaks the news. Most teenagers see themselves as adult members of the family, and will probably feel they have been left out if they don't hear everything from the first day. But it is probably not a good idea to tell toddlers and preschoolers until they have to know. There is no point in making them worry far in advance. Be sure to announce the move in a totally positive way. You might say how proud you are that Daddy's company has chosen him out of many other employees to manage a new office in Cleveland. Talk about what a beautiful city Cleveland is how good the schools are and how nice the people are. Tell truthful but very positive stories about how nice the new house will be. Ask them what the favorite things are in their lives now, and then try to make them happen in the new home.

If the new home is too far away to allow a visit by the entire family after it has been selected, show the children pictures of it from every angle. Videotape it, if you can. Emphasize the positive views and be sure to include pictures of each child's new room. Try to name the house with some romantic description like "Oak Hill" for the big trees and the sloping lawn.

Sugar coating will help, but since children can quickly see the negative sides of most situations, every parent must plan to deal with their children's worries, fears and sorrows. The children will lose friends they may have known all their lives. They will leave behind their sports teams, their clubs and they're dancing teachers. They will have to start over in a new place, making friends, becoming accepted and fitting into different groups.

Younger children need protection from fear of the unknown. Listen carefully to their concerns, and respond quickly to all of their apprehensions. It would be normal, for instance, for a young child to worry that his or her toy box and shelf of stuffed animals might be left behind. Find those anxieties and correct them. Probably the best tactic is to get the children actively involved in the whole process. Don't just promise to let them decorate their own rooms, for example. Take them to the paint store and let them bring home color swatches. Shop for bed spreads and towels and carpets.

They must leave old friends behind, so find ways to make that parting almost pleasant. Plan a going-away party and let them invite their own guests. Take pictures of everyone and make a photo album. If a child is old enough, send him or her out with a roll of film in the camera and the assignment to photograph the views they will want to remember.

Some relationships will be extremely difficult to break and these will demand careful, thoughtful, personalized planning by both parents. How, for instance, do you move a 17-year-old 1,000 miles from her steady boyfriend?

Expect that your children may be even more distressed after the move than they were before it. The new house will not be beautiful the night after the moving van leaves, or for months after. The furniture won't fit the rooms. The curtains won't be up, and every spot on the floor will be covered with half-unpacked cartons.

The children won't know anyone at school and, if you move during the summer, they may have little opportunity to meet anyone their age. You may be faced with many more problems in your new community that they will, but remember that you can handle them more easily than they can. They will need your help, and you should plan to give them the support they need.

After the move, give each of them a long distance telephone call allowance so they can keep in touch with the people back home who matter the most to them. Buy a stack of picture postcards that show positive views of your new community, and encourage them to write good news messages to the friends and relatives they left behind.

To make new friends, make sure the children don't vegetate in front of the television. Get them outside, where neighbors pass by. Have them pass out fliers to do baby-sitting or car washing. Encourage them to participate in as many school activities as they can handle. Get them on sports teams and into clubs.

If they - and you -aren't making new friends fast enough, throw a housewarming party for yourselves and invite all the adults and children on the block. If serious emotional or attitudinal problems arise, however, help is usually available and probably should be sought. Ask a teacher for help. Consider professional counseling. Don't let a serious problem slide.

Remember that the newness will wear off. New friends will become old friends and best friends. This new house may become the family homestead your grandchildren will visit every holiday season. There will be discomforts, but in the long run, everything will work out fine.

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The information contained herein is deemed as an opinion and no warranty is implied or given.

 
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